@Smiilze: My welcome mat says, "Oh shit! Not you again!"
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@ShaunRightNow: Smiling releases endorphins in your body, which relieves stress. All I have to do now is explain that to my proctologist when he's done.
@veronaway2: I admire the guy who named duct tape. He was a marketing genius. He knew naming it abduct tape would be more accurate, but a harder sell.
@WheelTod: Funerals have gotten so expensive: at mom's, after paying for the bouncy house, clowns & pony rides, we couldn't afford a decent magic show.
@roggyie: If my "check engine" light would check my wallet, it would know there's nothing I can do about it.