@Smiilze: My welcome mat says, "Oh shit! Not you again!"
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@KalvinMacleod: CAT 911: what’s the emergency? CAT: I can see a bird outside our clear wall CAT 911: you mean a window? CAT: no it’s definitely a bird
@iGreenMonk: A boy met a girl She:Every time u smile, I feel like inviting u to my place He(smiling):Why thank u.. are u single? She:No, I'm a dentist
@BumbleDC: Thanks for a lovely evening, I had a great time. Sure, I'll come in for a coffee. You have a lovely apartmeMY GOD that is a lot of Swastikas
@SharkJelly: "Hey honey" *drags a cigarette* "have you ever" *drinks some scotch* "slept with a guy" *sucks a lollipop* "with three arms?"