@HenpeckedHal: My wife and I announce when we're going to the bathroom, but it's more a way of saying, "I'm not watching the kids, so if they die in the next 4 minutes it's all your fault."
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@ArfMeasures: Netflix: Do you want to watch this movie now? Me: I have a social event that I'm already late for Netflix: Oh ok Me: No I mean put it on
@LeagueofNope: No thanks, people who hum to themselves. I've seen enough horror movies to know that you probably just killed someone or you're possessed.
@click4amanda: Officer: "Do you know why I'm standing here?" Me: "You got all C's in High School?"
@UncleDuke1969: Growing up, Sesame Street taught me the importance of education, empathy, and kindness. Bugs Bunny, on the other hand, taught me that revenge on my enemies should be quick, clever, and brutal.