@pauleggleston: My wife and I can't agree on appropriate gardening attire. But she's digging in her heels.
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@RandiLawson: I really hate to get religious on here, but have you seen the thigh gap on Jesus. DAYUM!
@GeriatricBeards: [Being kidnapped] Me: i can feel it.. Stockholm syndrome kidnapper: its been 10 minutes me: should we invite your brother to the wedding?
@murrman5: are you the girl who has to type everything said in court? "yes" I'm sorry *looks back at prosecutor and answers his question as a dolphin*
@thetits: [Later, Snake sees a Lizard] Snake (to God): DUDE! Seriously?? *God and Lizard high-five, adding insult to injury*