@BradBroaddus: My wife and I found each other on a dating website.........3 years after we got married. That was awkward.
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@Shira: Only in America would people violently trample each other for discounts, exactly one day after being thankful for what they already have...
@squirrel74wkgn: People tend to overreact when they look in their rear view mirror & see you sitting in their backseat dressed like a clown.
@SuperRandomish: Coworker: "How'd you get that cut above your eye?" Me: *Remembering dropping my phone on my face* "STOP ASKING ME ABOUT FIGHT CLUB!"
@dshack8: You don't know shit about pressure until you're the only Black person on the dance floor while white people clap & form a circle around you.