@RickAaron: My wife and I have been happily married for two years. 1997 & 2004
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@iwearaonesie: wife: What's wrong? me [annoyed because the kids menu has a picture of a tree on it but they didn't give me any brown crayons] Nothing
@AristotlesNZ: Your Honor, for our opening motion in this murder trial, the defense would like to submit, as exhibit A, the victim's ringtone.
@Try2StopME: I'm going to the gym now. Not bragging. Just want you to know where to send the ambulance.