@KentWGraham: My wife and I have different beliefs about death. I want to be cremated when I die, and she wants to cremate me now.
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@InternetHippo: Me for many years: I wish my friends were interested in politics Now that all my friends are interested in politics: Oh this sucks actually
@ddsmidt: I imagine if I had a job doing manual labor, I'd be in great shape. Then I do 15 minutes of manual labor and reality comes back into focus.
@AbbyHasIssues: My one-woman show, “I Will Unstick These Freaking Grocery Carts If It Kills Me” is getting rave reviews from fellow shoppers.