@amishschool: My wife asked what I thought of her new blouse and I used the word "slimming", I explain to the other homeless people.
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@KalvinMacleod: MOM: finish your dinner SON: I can't eat anymore, I'm full MOM: hi full, I'm mom DAD: *drops an entire steak onto his khakis*
@meladoodle: Crazy how women have the stereotype of being chatty when 90% of dudes have 45 minute podcasts that no one listens to...
@illTortuga: From now on, when you see the word "minimum", good luck trying to not imagine a tiny British mother.
@juliussharpe: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and ten million dollars.