@amishschool: My wife asked what I thought of her new blouse and I used the word "slimming", I explain to the other homeless people.
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@dubiousrhetoric: Preowned Jaguar for sale. Beloved family member, excellent shape. Wife forced me to put her up for sale after she (the jaguar) ate the kids.
@Pirate_nurse: If he's dumb enough to send you a generic message in a mass text...be smart enough to reply to all "I still haven't gotten my period."
@toastymoe: One of my co-workers just called the elevator a "vator". Anyways, long story short, this is my one phone call...