@qwertying: My wife can suffer in silence louder than anyone I know.
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@Dpressedspartan: My class teacher once said "Write and Practice." Turns out she was right. I practiced on my desk just before I started my exam and it worked
@JumbledButts: Prison Guard: "So you two cons are in love?" Con1: "Yes." Con2: "It's like we finish each other's..." *in unison* "death sentences."
@Owl_Meat: [In a cucumber submarine] 1st mate: *inspecting leak* we're taking on saltwater captain Cptn: hm yes looks like we're in quite the pickle