@qwertying: My wife can suffer in silence louder than anyone I know.
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@internetluke: "STOP IT STOP IT. CUT. THIS IS ALL WRONG" I scream at my cats dressed like vampires. "This is NOTHING like Twilight!!"
@kwirkyKerri: *smacks you with my coloring book* Wow. These coloring books really do work to relieve stress.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Teen: Your brows are on fleek! Me: (confused) Yeah well your FACE is on fleek. Teen: Thanks! Me: God damn it.