@Juicedballs: My wife dared me to yell out "HURRY UP HAYDEN" at Disney World. Now we have 27 blonde boys & 8 girls following us like Children of the Corn.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@DomBorrett: Making jokes on Twitter is a lot like making jokes in real life. Except without the frightened faces of strangers on buses
@just1fool: I'm not gullible but she said I was the best she's ever had and then to wait by the phone for instructions on how to get my wallet back.
@dafloydsta: HER: A man at work saved someone's life today. *flashback to me finding a dollar in the laundry* ME: I also have big news.
@TheBlessMess: Dear Coworker, If I'm nodding my head & smiling at everything you've said, this means I'm fantasizing about getting banged by David Beckham.