@simoncholland: My wife didn't post an essay thanking our kids for making her a mom on Facebook and now child services is on the way.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@sambaintv: How To Write: get as distracted as possible for as long as possible until you are driven to start typing by an overpowering sense of shame.
@usermcuserface: You start a mosh pit at the orchestra one time and all of a sudden you're "banned for life" and "arrested".
@BeingTwiter: What's a burnt pizza, frozen beer, & a pregnant girl have in common?? . In each scenario, there's a dumb guy who didn't take it out in time.