@Brianhopecomedy: My wife handed me a mop so I inspected it and said, "You're good to go, woman!" and now the mop handle is in a funny place.
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@ericallenhatch: THE SHINING (1980): An oblivious pair of incessant chatterboxes are finally taught to respect the sanctity of a writer's space.
@joejwest: ME: [leaning over toilet] Hold back my hair YOU: Ok ME: [drinks from toilet like dog] YOU: You've made your point I'll wash up some glasses
@Smug_Lemur: It looks like bathroom tai chi but it's me trying to trigger the automatic paper towel dispenser.