@awesomeseank: My wife has her period so I suggested swimming, beach volleyball and a horseback ride. She told me to piss off. Commercials are misleading.
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@Mr_Kapowski: *aliens land on Thanksgiving* *me showing them around* "We have a specific bone we break from the carcass to make a wish" Aliens: Savages
@MollyCocktail: Think about it - every single corpse on Mt. Everest was once a highly motivated person. Stay lazy my friends.
@PaulFrei: Don't know what this myth is about cell usage blowing up a gas pump. I'm filling my tank right now. See? It's no big de
@Cheeseboy22: If I worked at a wax museum, I think a good joke would be to put a wick coming out of all of their heads.