@awesomeseank: My wife has her period so I suggested swimming, beach volleyball and a horseback ride. She told me to piss off. Commercials are misleading.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@_troyjohnson: 5yo: "Dad we don't have a chimney. How will Santa get in?" Me: Probably through my credit card. 5: what? Me: what?
@jake_lach: Lady pulled away with the gas pump still in her car and I was like OMG who's your dealer?
@iamspacegirl: In the middle of a GOP debate, Scooby and the gang suddenly rush the stage. They wrestle Trump to the ground, struggling to remove his face.
@ComedicBust: [role playing in bed as pirates] Me: Arggh, I want that booty. Her: *giggling* Mmmk Me: [takes out a map] Now if we cross the Atlantic...