@WheelTod: My wife has just come home and asked how things went with the baby. Now in mild panic mode as I thought she took the baby along with her
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@CornOnTheGoblin: [walks into a laundromat with a bag of popcorn kernels and heads straight to the dryers]
@AnOrangeSNES: I'm like Pac-Man because I travel in the dark to Dippin' Dots stands to eat them, all while getting chased by members of the Ku Klux Klan.
@robfee: If I owned a pet store Id put a different rat in the turtle cage every night just to see if any of the turtles knew karate the next morning.
@JessObsess: It's so embarrassing when someone gets to second base with me and finds crumbs in my bra.