@ShrinkMedia: My wife is amazing in bed. She can fall asleep immediately no matter how loud the TV is on.
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@goolicker: There is a special place for people who leave long voicemails, but until the ground thaws, they stay in the freezer.
@AnkCoupleTO: [coming out of coma] Doc: You survived the heart attack Me: I'm going to eat right & get fit D: *shows me hospital bill* M: *pulls plug*
@kelkulus: Felix Baumgartner's 127,000 ft jump becomes world's greatest free fall, unseating previous record set by the 2008 US Economy. #spacejump