@GrantTanaka: My wife is gone for the next 3 days, so if any ladies out there want to come over & yell at me to take out the garbage & not have sex, hmu
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Reverend_Scott: [Adam and Eve in bed] Adam, am I really the only girl for you? GOD EVE, YOU'RE LITERALLY THE ONLY GIRL ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH
@thagr8short1: I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbor said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'
@akatinamarie: I can't tell if the vegans upstairs are having sex or are finally eating a steak.
@aRealLiveGhost: to someone with x-ray vision two people making out look like skeletons that are really bad at eating each other