@squirrel74wkgn: My wife looks like the cats in those cucumber videos when she turns around & sees me naked.
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@suzieQ0007: People with stick figure families on their car: Oh look how cute we are! Criminals: I'll need 3 rolls of duct tape.
@Reverend_Scott: Goodnight honey. "Daddy, where do babies come from?" The stork flies them in. "Why's it take 9 months?" Wind resistance. Go to sleep.
@EyeSeeYou619: Having a bummer day? Here's an out of context Spider-man comic book scene that made me laugh.
@Jen_Mahabir: If we ever travel thousands of light years to a planet with intelligent life - lets just make patterns in their crop and leave.