@Parentpains: My wife said she wished she never woke up this morning. Turns out we do have something in common.
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@StellaRtwot: Learning how to break wooden boards in karate is important in case you ever get in a fight with a house.
@AmishPornStar1: "I'm here for the hookers and the booze!!!" "Sir, this is a library." *whispers... "I'm here for the hookers and the booze."
@DragonflyJonez: Future said "I wake up on a daily basis" so he other does so much drugs that that's an accomplishment or he doesnt know thats what people do
@mattZillaaaa: "911, what is your emergency?" Yes I can't hear my television "Sir, this is not an emer-" Someone keeps screaming "HELP ME!!" next door