@Brianhopecomedy: My wife said "vase" wrong so I corrected her and now we know that it can just barely fit over my head.
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@Reverend_Scott: "Daddy, where do babies come from?" From mommies. "How do they get inside?" CAN'T U ASK WHY THE SKY IS BLUE HAVEN'T U WONDERED ABOUT THAT
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I'm 99% sure the plane Harrison Ford was in is from the Amelia Earhart exhibit at the Smithsonian.
@plethoricjake: As a child whenever I asked my parents to close the closet at night they always said. "Why? Anything that could kill you can open that door"
@LizHackett: A child in the coffee shop cried and cried until she was given a cake pop, and as I walked past, I whispered, "Your technique is flawless."