@WheelTod: My wife says I've placed unreasonable expectations on our kids, but I think Superman and Wolverine will turn out just fine.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Jesus_M_Christ: That moment when you mom says she was a virgin, but then 3 random dudes show up on your birthday with gifts.
@deardilettante: [ first date ] Me. Do you take drugs? Him. I never touch them. Me. Perfect. Can I have a urine sample?
@caliluvgirl77: I'll never rob a store because I don't want to see the police guess my weight on a wanted poster.
@TheTweetOfGod: Fear and ignorance would gay-marry each other if they weren't both opposed to it.