@WheelTod: My wife says I've placed unreasonable expectations on our kids, but I think Superman and Wolverine will turn out just fine.
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@garrettbarry70: Super excited about staying at my daughter's place so I can eat her cereal and leave the empty box in her cupboard.
@SillySassySmart: The awkwardness of my life is equivalent to when somebody says "Happy Birthday" and you say "Thanks you too!"
@laurajennyjo: I'm gonna start following my cat to the litter box and sit in her lap while she takes a shit
@NBrianJohnston: If you've never seen your woman truly pissed at you, it's obvious you've never used her sewing scissors to cut paper.