@ScottyDsntKnow3: My wife thinks I'm too impulsive. How the hell would she know? We only met last week!
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@Bearslietoo: There is no "i" in "team," but there is a lot of "alcohol" in my "fridge" because I enjoy abusing my liver.
@AaronFullerton: "What are you doing? Are you writing down everything I'm saying?! IS THIS GONNA BE A SONG?!?!" -anyone dating Taylor Swift
@JB4Realz: WIFE: What the...? ME: I'm teaching him to play piano. W: You idiot! M *covering chicken's ears*: Not in front of Johann Sebastian Bock-Bock