@BradBroaddus: My wife told me to find someone else if anything ever happened to her so I don't know why she got pissed when she found my "prospects" list.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@PaperWash: cashier: whoa 58 boxes of Mac and Cheese, having a party tonight? me: Cashier: me: Cashier: me: sure
@briangaar: HELLO POLICE, MY SON JUST TAUGHT CUT TO A LEGENDARY POKEMON I WANT HIM TRIED AS AN ADULT
@TheSnideOne: What I say: "Does anyone need anything from the store?" What I mean: "I'm off to smoke a bowl in my car so I can deal with all of you."