@BradBroaddus: My wife told me to find someone else if anything ever happened to her so I don't know why she got pissed when she found my "prospects" list.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@dksc4life: ME [during sex]: Ugh I love you so much babe HER: Mmmmmm I love you too sexy PRIEST: The kiss was all we needed
@weinerdog4life: Yes hello 911, I put a smaller microwave inside a bigger microwave and now there's a wormhole in my kitchen
@KeetPotato: bank robber: ok listen up this is a robbery, everybody be cool [to me] take off those sunglasses me: first of all, i can't do both