@KentWGraham: My wife tried imitating the weird groaning sound her car is making, and all three auto mechanics asked her out.
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@iJohnKnoxville: Someone needs to open a bar called "The Gym". Then I too can be annoying on Facebook by posting how I'm always at the gym.
@dafloydsta: ME: Hey they're playing our song. HER: This isn't our song. ME: [turning up "Go Your Own Way"] Yes it is, Karen. I want a divorce.