@doublewenis: My wife used to get so fat that she had to go to the hospital; then a person would fall out of her. That doesn't sound normal.
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@jazmasta: [first day as a doctor] You seem depressed. Also you look underweight, how's your diet? [nurse interrupts me] "Dr that's the model skeleton"
@dulcetry: One time I saw a biker's funeral procession and realized even dead people are cooler than me.
@PajamaStew: Twitter is the only place where it's actually BORING to discover that you are being followed by hundreds of robots.