@juliussharpe: My wife wants to have another kid. That's like seeing light at the end of a tunnel and saying, "I think we better turn around."
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@pinupteacher: [me on phone with mechanic] Car won't start. I think it's the battery. Or power steering. Could be a fuse. Wheels, probably wheels. Engine.
@rolldiggity: The best way to be passive aggressive to a trophy store is to order a "Worst Trophy Shop" trophy and then never pick it up.
@kdelite8: Doctor: it's important to incorporate purple foods into your diet. Me: *eats purple cupcakes*
@donquixote229: I saw a car with a flat tire so I offered to help. She tells me to hurry cause she has a hair appoinment..This is how serial killers r born