@RandomAntics: My yoga instructor said "sometimes not moving is the hardest thing for us to do," and I started laughing so hard I had to excuse myself.
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@Mr_Kapowski: Fun Prank: If someone leaves their car windows cracked cause it's hot outside, start slipping unwrapped Kraft Singles in their car
@Hobo_Splendido: All these years you thought your grandma had Alzheimers, and turns out she just didn't want to talk to you.
@RockKraller: I swear...I think restaurants with drive thru's identify the dumbest employee and say "here, you get to wear the headset"
@juskewitch: If you're in a clown posse, you don't need to tell us you're insane. We know. Nobody's thinking you're an emotionally stable clown posse.