@RandomAntics: My yoga instructor said "sometimes not moving is the hardest thing for us to do," and I started laughing so hard I had to excuse myself.
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@jacquelinehey: Joe: Okay so we sneak in one night around February, steal his shoes Obama: Joe Joe: And then dump legos all over the floor
@joeljeffrey: If I was a sniper, I'd probably spend most of my time looking for cats and making them chase my rifle laser pointer from 2 miles away.
@julietactually: [taking the witness stand] "Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but—" *leaning into the mic* I choose dare