@LimeyTheGreat: My youngest son can now reach the light switches, so don't come over to my house, unless you're really into raves or want to have a seizure.
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@generaldietz: Baby Soldier: Ma'am. Your husband is MIA. Soldiers wife: *covers crying face with hands* Baby Soldier: Oh great! Now his wife is MIA too.
@ehdannyboy: FACT: Uma Thurman is the only person to ever have been named by someone with a mouthful of food.
@VictorscarletJ: I know we just got divorced, but would you mind showing my girlfriend how to make an omelet the way I like them?