@dlockw21: Name dog. Call dog every derivative of that name but the actual name.
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@Julian_Deane: With all the ways to contact me on social media these days the police still smash through my door unannounced again?
@TheRealAnchovy: Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin, it tastes the same but you know it ain't quite right.
@xLiserx: Me: Can't. I'm exhausted from all the CrossFit this morning. Him: It's pronounced 'croissant' & how the hell did you eat the entire dozen?!