@punmagnate: "Name?" queries the Starbucks barista. The almighty feathered serpent Quetzalcoatl only sighs.
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@RidiculousSheri: Nobody harasses you on the street when you walk around wearing a belt made of live cats.
@miilkkk: Everyone says they want a fairytale wedding. But when I show up and curse their firstborn, suddenly I'm the jerk...
@Sickayduh: Good cop: We got you red-handed! Weatherman cop: Well there's a 70% chance of guilt but I'd go ahead and make weekend plans
@hogrider05: H: Do you like carpet or prefer it bare? M: I'm OK with a little carpet of she shaves the rest H: We're talking about floors M: HR again?