@SteveSuckington: National product once got caught picking his nose and eating it thus forever being known as gross national product.
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@cluedont: Why does my wife always wait until I'm at the opposite end of the house before asking me to 'Merm frner mernferr brnerfer!'?
@ramenfuneral: "how about an animal that looks like a cross between a horse and a barcode" - creator of zebras
@ToxicProbably: A guy on a scooter just yelled at me for being on my phone at a red light so I yelled at him for being on a scooter
@MatCro: GF: Sue at the bra shop said u got some lingerie ME: … G: Only u didn't give it to me M: [nervously adjusting thong] I'm having an affair