@DanKCharnley: Neat, your girlfriend is made out of the same stuff as your air guitar!
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@ShanaRose21: After reading some marriage tweets I'm beginning to suspect we all may have been married to the same person.
@Tmoney68: "Stomach...Lungs...Kidneys....Heart." - Me, at my organ recital. (Not even slightly sorry)
@freshestginger: HERE'S A KID WITH NO ARMS AND NO LEGS AND HIS PARENTS ARE DEAD AND YOU'LL DIE SOON TOO, BUY THINGS. - Super Bowl Commercials in a nut shell
@ch000ch: i'm wearing a jetpack to my job interview tomorrow so if they turn me down i can disappoint everyone there by just walking out calmly