@robdelaney: Need special medicine for our son’s kidneys but we can’t afford it because we bought printer ink last week :(
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@naughty_aditi: Me: I'm gonna lose weight. Me: I'm gonna exercise every day. Me: I'm gonna go on a diet and stick to it. Me: Is that cake?
@briangaar: I'm just looking for a woman who is smart, funny & can drive a getaway car tomorrow morning at 8
@lawblob: Son, its time we had 'the talk.' [dad removes shirt, starts projector, chugs 4 beers] Ok! So Tower 1 steel beams could only have melted at-