@Whitnuts: Negative pregnancy tests, because everyone loves good news on a stick
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@thisislizz: Dear Tech Support, I twied to puth my tongue in tha USthB port again. Canth you helpf?
@FinallyHeSleeps: Finding $5 you didn't know you had is awesome til you realize you're 34, it's 2011 & $5 won't even buy enough gas to drive you off a cliff.
@OldFolkProblms: Back in my day, we didn't have apps to tell everyone where we were all the time We had to actually work for it if we wanted to get murdered