@Nocturnesthesia: Neighbor may have just called the cops after hearing me yell at the cat for stealing my cheese bread
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@TheRolo: When I'm in a bathroom stall, please don't yell "Oh my God oh my God there's a guy in here!" Respect my privacy.
@ch000ch: *watching a cop walk past during drug deal* ok relax, just be cool.. "bonjour mademoiselle how much of le methamphetamine dost thou fancy"
@tastefactory: ME: [in front of mirror] Bloody Mary Bloody Mary Bloody Mary *Bloody Mary appears* ME: I'm moving today and need your help BLOODY MARY: Shit