@nicfit75: Neighbors having their yearly Xmas party. Not invited again. So don't tell me the screaming drunken outdoor fights don't pay off.
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@meganamram: I know I'm being such a grammar Nazi, but it's "Jew-rats make me NAUSEATED," not "Jew-rats make me NAUSEOUS"
@KentWGraham: MARRIAGE TIP: When your wife forgets to set the timer and incinerates dinner, DO NOT whistle “If I Only Had a Brain” from the Wizard of Oz.
@YesItsAl: My daughter knows what a meth lab is thanks to an episode of The Simpsons. At least that's what I had to tell child services just now.
@highxpectation2: No one realizes when someone says, "The last thing I wanna do is hurt you," that basically implies: there is a list, hurting you is on it.