@Beerhaze: Neighbour mowed his lawn at 6am... Logic dictates that I should get drunk in the backyard tonight and try to learn to play the didgeridoo.
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@ManiacallySound: Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Because no body liked you in high school, and then you caught me speeding.
@moneebthinks: Me in the future: Son, you’re going to go far. Son, fiddling with the catapult straps: I question your judgment daily.