@Beerhaze: Neighbour mowed his lawn at 6am... Logic dictates that I should get drunk in the backyard tonight and try to learn to play the didgeridoo.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Phook75: "Nobody wants to hear about pooping" Actually Mom, I think you'll find that there's an entire social network dedicated to proving you wrong.
@Alex_N_Chains: Clean tweeting is liberating. You don't need profanity to make a point. Look: Tell her she has beautiful eyes. Female dogs love that poopy.
@emmatheist: Before I die, I'm putting fake treasure maps behind all my picture frames. My grand children will be so pwned.
@EliTerry: I hide photos on my computer of me petting animals at the zoo in a file named FIREWORKS AND VACUUMS so my dog won't find them.