@anthonyzach: Neighbours described the United Kingdom as a "quiet, well-mannered country" that "kept itself to itself".
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@Manali_Shetye5: Him:The seven dwarves were on a bus, they all started to feel Sleepy. So Sleepy got off. Me:Oh come on, man! That pun was Dopey!
@Douchekevin: A cash bar on parent / teacher interview nights would be a great fundraiser for schools.
@POTerritory: Him: So what do you do? Me (hoping to save up for some bushes at the edge of my property): I run a hedge fund.
@MarlonBrandNO: [Date] (don't let her know you're an alien larva) Her: I wonder where he is? *I burst through her chest* Me: Did you order yet? I'm starved