@bazecraze: Neil Patrick Harris couldn't host a tapeworm without a musical number. #Emmys
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@noogscorner: Pick something up. You just applied more force on that object than the gravity of an entire planet. Earth, do you even lift?
@samuelhlowe: When I go to someone's house & they tell me to make myself at home, the first thing I do is throw them out because I don't like visitors.
@Nikkeya08: Yoga Instructor: This is Warrior pose Me:*Sitting down, eating a cheeseburger YI: Me:*chewing I'm a Warrior who just slayed a McDonaldite