@AlanHungover: *Nerdy guys phone rings* JOCK: "Who was that, your girlfriend?" *Everyone laughs* NERD: "Nope. It was yours." *Dead silence*
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@NintenDom: It's never going to work out between Mario and the Princess. Most of the time she's on a whole other level.
@GABBYdaAngSaya: Me: I think we need to break up Her: Now is not a good time Me: Okay *we ride the rollercoaster in silence*
@carlyken: Every Political Ad Ever: I'm a rich guy who's not like the other rich guy he's a total douche. *Paid for by my rich guy friends*