@NotMarkAllen: Netflix just asked me "Are you really going to eat that too?"
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@murrman5: are you the girl who has to type everything said in court? "yes" I'm sorry *looks back at prosecutor and answers his question as a dolphin*
@thenatewolf: Me: [crouching next to my friend] man, some of these guys take paintball so seriously Log We Are Hiding Behind: freeze
@dafloydsta: INTERVIEWER: On average, how often do you miss work? ME: *sweating profusely* NO ONE SAID THERE'D BE MATH
@hazelmotes1: On the Titanic 0 people died from alcohol poisoning and 1,500 people died from drinking too much water. You decide which is more dangerous.