@NotMarkAllen: Netflix just asked me "Are you really going to eat that too?"
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@iDontWannaBeYhu: Money doesn't buy happiness? Well it buys a jet ski. Have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski? It's impossible to be sad on a jet ski.
@huntigula: GOD: it's time I punished the humans again JESUS: cool. flood or plague? GOD:[watching The Apprentice] oh I've something way worse in mind..
@YourAnMoron: I accidentally just laughed at something my 4-year-old did so now I have to pretend to laugh as she does it forty thousand more times.