@jenlaw_11: Netflix just asked me to rate 'Spy Kids 2' and I clicked "I haven't seen it" but I have. I have seen it. A lot.
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@MatCro: [doctor's] INVISIBLE MAN: Am I cured doc? DR: Your tests are all clear IM: Is that good? DR: [talking to wrong empty chair] I'm not sure
@XplodingUnicorn: What was the point in making your car louder, bro? Do you really want women to turn their heads and notice you drive a 1999 Honda Civic?
@Reverend_Scott: If you watch the movie Twister backwards it's the story of friendly tornados saving lives, rebuilding destroyed towns and playing with cows.
@CliffDuffy: Doctor: How did you get all those bruises? Me: Rough sex Doctor: That looks unhealthy and should stop Me: Talk to your nurse about that