@kyle_thatisall: Netflix would be by far the best dating site. "Here are 9 other singles in your area who have also watched Pokemon for 12 straight hrs"
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@StephenKing: TIME wanted me to be their Person of the Year, but I said no! Won’t pose with Pennywise the Clown on my lap! Sorry, TIME! Sad!!!
@mrtimlong: Every time I raise my arm a little, a falcon lands on it. It was super-cool at first, but now I'm starting to get annoyed.
@daemonic3: [interview] Any questions? "Why isn't Bigfoot called Bigfeet?" No about working here "Oh! If he worked here would you call him Bigfeet?"
@bridger_w: "I'm sorry, but are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?" -Fun way to confuse a waiter who just suggested a menu item