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@TheAlexP: Never doubt a Woman with an extensive vocabulary.
@UncleDuke1969: Me: Whatcha doing on the PC?
Daughter: Looking at peckers.
D: Science project on chickens.
D: You walked RIGHT into that.
@13spencer: To be fair, "old-fashioned" doesn't necessarily mean racist; it could also mean sexist.
@1CleverGirl1: I just licked guacamole off my elbow.
@EndhooS: Boss: Are you high?
Me: [trying to photocopy a dog] are you a cop?
@AllieA: I used to accidentally hold hands with strangers I mistook for my dad. It's slightly weirder now that I'm in my 20s and doing it on purpose.