@_wendyb07: Never feel more attractive than when my picture of cornbread gets almost as many likes as my selfie. "She's ok, but she's no cornbread."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@flashember: WIFE: This is dumb. DAUGHTER: This is so stupid. ME: This is getting out of hand! THIS: [leaping out of my palm] I HATE YOU GUYS I'M LEAVING
@Kcamp_95: My boyfriend broke up with because I make too many Linkin Park references, but in the end it doesn't even matter.
@JohnHilsen: You gotta admit that humans are the ultimate #1 lifeform because we're essentially half mermaid but we also have legs for kicking and stuff.