@MandiAtRandom: "Never go to bed angry" is some solid advice if you want to stay up until 3am fighting
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@InternetHippo: ME: People should be able to say what they want w/o consequences, that’s the essence of free speech SOMEONE: You suck ME: Call the police
@kelkulus: Girls hate it when you give them Christmas presents with an implied expectation, like an iron, a food processor, or knee pads.
@dlockw21: IT: You deleted the OS? Me: I think so. IT: It didn't warn you? Me: Yeah, but it only kinda warned me. What's with the inquisition bro?
@alesiavsworld: Creep yelling from window: "HEY SEXY WHERE YO MAN?" Me yelling back: "HE DEAD" Him: "WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM?" Me: "HE YELLED AT ME"