@DarlingNikki_12: Never go to target in a red shirt. I was holding my kid and someone asked for help. Like yea just let me finish stocking the toddlers first.
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@internetluke: [ordering pizza alone] Yeah I'd like a large pepperoni and *changes voice* A medium sausage *changes voice again* Another large pepperoni
@halloweenbears: it really hurt my feelings when you called me a stalker to your friend when you guys thought you were alone in the locker room
@simoncholland: It's fine to eat a "test" grape in the produce section but you take one bite of a rotisserie chicken and it's all, "sir you need to leave."