@DarlingNikki_12: Never go to target in a red shirt. I was holding my kid and someone asked for help. Like yea just let me finish stocking the toddlers first.
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@NurseMurderer: Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario &how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal, but had no milk. I used ice cream.
@Jake_Vig: If you have twin girls and don't dress them like in "The Shining" and make them stand in hallways, you've squandered a precious gift.
@GrowlyGrego: Here, have my marionette set. "Cool. How much for it?" Just take it "For free? What's the catch?" No strings attached. "You son of a bit.."
@LHGarrett: PHIL COLLINS: Here tonight is the man who inspired my next song, "Fat Shithead Clogged My Toilet." [spotlight tracks me as I head for Exit]