@torrami: Never let them see how much they hurt you. Or the gun. Definitely don't let them see the gun.
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@ObviousOstrich: If you fill a bottle of water, take it into a dark room and pour the water on the floor, you've just wasted your time.
@fro_vo: Friend: what are u doing Me: training my pet rock Friend: that's dumb Pet Rock: *leaps from my hand & hits him in the face* Me: no rocky, no
@eddiesnextwife: My ice maker broke and now I have to make ice, in trays. I'll be on Pinterest looking for a recipe.