@IGotsSmarts: Never mess with a drunken pig.
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@kcmoore51: Me: What are your plans for tonight? 13: Think I'll hang out with you and mom. Me: Goddammit...uh I mean that's great.
@vineyille: Celebrating christmas in another country, santa leaves a chicken cutlet in my boot. "Is that good?" No one will make eye contact with me.
@BrandonBrown522: My cow Rosie won 3 blue ribbons at last year's 4H show so I have pretty high hopes for her at this year's chili cook off.
@jaggedape: Bear mace is like regular mace but you have to buy it at the maul... Thank you for your time.