@hamspamtymaam: Never reach into a girl's purse. Anything could be inside, a bear could be in there. You just don't know.
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@TheMichaelRock: Whenever you're feeling down and out, just remember that there's people walking around with Twilight tattoos.
@charliedelta7: I'm so hungry, I could eat this food without even instagraming it first. No, but seriously, I'm going to instagram it first. Don't be crazy
@ValeeGrrl: Other parents do back-to-school pics of kids holding signs w/ their grade on it & mine are just a series of selfies w/ me & the bus driver.
@PaperWash: [walking quickly past the old lady I just held the door open for] this doesn't mean you can order before me