@GregDunbar1: Never realized how out of shape I was until I started sweating after using scissors for 30 seconds.
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@AliyanShaikh: Did you know? If you stand under the moonlight and say the name of your true love 3 times, you'll look really stupid.
@GinAndJif: "Dave's coming for dinner tonight." "Dave from work or Dave who misquotes Disney...?" [from outside] "...hakuna banana."
@JerseyRambo: My psychiatrist is mad at me, told him I could hear people but couldn't see them...he said when does this happen...I said over the phone