@zachheltzel: Never tell a psycho that they're psycho, because then they feel like they're obligated to prove it.
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@FKACornshucks: TT: At sunday dinner I like to perform an impromptu puppet show with the roast chicken. This week it's my interpretation of Die Hard 2.
@DaddyJew: [getting dating advice from my dad] Just be yourself and don't do anything stupid "Well which one is it?"
@AimeeHelene1: Today there was a band-aid on my plate, a bat flew in the house, & a bee stung me. Today was brought to me by the letter B.
@OneFunnyMummy: On bad days I like to take a pregnancy test to remind myself that things could be much worse.